Still

leaves, needles are still
soaking in sun's hazy light
ready for day's will

True

I hate putting myself out there. I hate being in a vulnerable position.

Too late now. I can only wait and see what happens.

It is something that frustrates me about myself. I never put myself out there. I do not want to go through the emotions of rejection, of being looked at negatively, etc. I'd rather play it safe.

But I know if I am always true to myself, I could never be wrong. It doesn't matter if I am rejected, or disliked, and so on.

Had dinner with a good friend tonight and he mentioned a quote he heard the other day: Rejection is God's way of giving advice.

If I could only get rid of myself of my insecurities, if only a little. How much more productive, lucid, content would I be?

Loss of Momentum

"I'm your stranger. Jump!"

I have decided to jump. I've considered all and have come to the conclusion that I will take this risk. There are still a couple of unknowns, but I am fairly sure it's what I need. I'll give him my time, my thoughts, my love... and let him decide.

How frightening it is to surrender control.

starry night over the rhone

think of me when you're coming down
but don't look back when leaving town

there goes the fear again, let it go
there goes the fear, let it go

early morning sun

i'm singing in the shower again. :)

can't sleep

so what do i decide to do? create a blog. eh, why not.

i started falling today.
somehow different this time.
held.
slowly.

perhaps, this is how it should feel.